I have taken my hijab off but the only thin I want is to be is a good muslim.?

I have taken it off... because... I dont know, maybe its vanity or whatever... this seems like the stupidest thing ever, but it was over a guy I liked. I just lost ight of all my principles and fell so deep. Anyway, when taking if off, it was a huge step for me, like I felt like I had just left the house stripped or something. Everyone knew me before this to be a respectable girl, now they look at me like im going off the rails or something due to the way I dress. There's nothin I want more from this life, but to be a good muslim. I know Islam is the truth. Its just the issue with the scarf. I know if it doesnt suit me and I wear it, you get more reward, but all this doesnt seem to encourage me. And when people try giving me hijab lectures, like I get so frustrated, because I know what they are saying. Infact those words are etched into my brain, and these people are making out like I aint got a clue. It also fustrates me when my sisters compare me to my cousins who ahve kept there hijabs on since forever, and are masha'allah doing well in their studies, words such as 'I respect them for not changing'... and 'there shareef'. It just does somthing to me, wether its jeleousy or what, I dont know. I feel like, 'how the hell do you know whats in my heart'.. and just because a person doesnt wear the scarf doesnt mean there bad people. The sad thing is... I want to wear it. Its almost a battle whithin me, one side pulling me to wear it and forget people mocking me thinking 'make ur mind up' and 'oh she's have it off in a years time'... and the other sides telling me 'u dont suit the scarf, your job contradicts everything about islam so whats the point wearing it, ur making urself look stupid''.. etc. Hope I made sense.